So, November 8th, I celebrated, kind of celebrated my 26th birthday. This year I already has mixed feelings about my birthday, and the day of proved me right. TWENTY-SIX.. seems so close to 30!! I knew it was going to be the start of the not so young feeling years, and I was right!
The night before, at midnight. I went outside and smoked a cigarette. yeah yeah yeah I know!! Not a smart thing to be doing. And after the 2nd puff I wanted to cry! I have NO idea why. But this birthday also started the beginning of change for me. I guess that alone is a little depressing. (Explanation coming)
SO anyway. I had to work the day of my birthday. Work was surprisingly EXTRA awesome. I made almost $30 more than normal. Plus I got to do a wine tasting, take a shot, and drink a glass of wine before going home, SCORE! lol.
When I got home, my mom had made me a cake and it was at my house! We were going out to dinner, so we did gifts and cake with the kids first before they had to go to bed. Michael had taken the girls shopping for me. They decided they wanted to get me a red picture frame, and put a picture of "my babies" in it. So he went and had a collage made with a picture of him, Abby, Lele, Maggie, Madison, and Newman! It is super cute!! He got me a pretty candle holder that hangs on the wall, and money to go shopping for boots, and jeans that I desperately needed! So I was very proud of them all, they know what mommy likes!
My mom and sis came over (to watch girls while we went to dinner) My sis got me a beautiful statue of two sisters, with the phrase "Sisters by chance, Friends by choice!" Love it! It is SO TRUE! My momma got me the first box of Nicotine patches (will explain in a minute) some yummy bath wash and lotion, and this awesome dvd that turns your tv into a fireplace! (She also chipped in for me getting my hair cut and colored the day before!)
Michael took me to Papadeax! I love that place, dinner was delicious, service was kind of sucky, but still, it was very nice, and delicious!!
SO yeah again, about the change thing. I have had my 'secret' addiction, forever! Smoking. I know it is SO bad, and nasty. But honestly I had been smoking off and on since I was like 16. I was supposed to have quit when I was 25, but that didn't last very long. All my friends smoke, so I was always tempted when I was with them. my strength gave in, and before long I was still smoking at least 1-2 a day. Honestly it was my getaway. When I got annoyed, I smoked, bored, I smoked, drove in car (without kids) I smoked. At night when all the kids went to sleep, first thing I did was smoke a cig! Even though I didn't even enjoy it anymore, I just needed that everyday. My body depended on it. I know it is probably ALL in my head, BUT if I didn't have that ONE a day, I turn into a total bitch. BUT me and myself had a little talk. I decided this year, being 26, it was time to kick the habit completely, lose 30lbs, get a new hair style (check!) and work on me a little. Since having the twins, my life has pretty much been consumed of nothing but kids kids kids, michael michael michael, house work x10, and everything else. I was always put on a back burner. And quite frankly, even though I have never been happier in life, I was not happy with myself. After losing my first 6lbs, I realized I can do anything I put my mind to and so I AM! I have 4 beautiful girls to live for, and let's be honest, smoking for almost 10 years, is nothing but fatal. I was once told that in order for my lungs to start healing from the damage done, I needed to be QUIT for a year, for every year I smoked. THEN once you hit 40 your chances of issues, and cancers jumps up in percentages. SO being 26, I need a good 10 years to heal my lungs up, to have 4 extra years before 40! That to me is reason enough to kick the habit.
So I have been procrastinating wearing the patch. Today is actually the first day I put in on. And honestly, I HATE IT. It leaves a horrible taste in my mouth, my eyes feel heavy, my head feels spinny. Almost as if I had just smoked a joint, or had 4 shots! 10 yrs ago I would love this feeling, nowadays I DO NOT! BUT I am going to stay strong and get through it. I don't want to be a smoker. I don't like setting an example that like to my children. And I am just ready to say goodbye to it for good! But I know this is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done! I am already feeling the stress of it. If I can get through a solid week, I think I will be OK. But as of right now, this sucks so bad! Michael is not a smoker, and hates me smoking, so he is a good support team to have at home. Now if I can just talk all my girl friends into quitting too, I will be good! lol
So while I was not ready to turn 26, I am ready to get back in shape, get healthier, and move on to the new me! So when 30 does come around, I will personally already be where I need to be, physically anyway!
(sorry no pics this time!)